1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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