And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
