apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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