bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
