so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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