East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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