You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
