Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
