she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
two words...techno handjob
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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