He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
