It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
When are your genitals available?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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