her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
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Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
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I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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