In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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