haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
