My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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