That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
