I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We need a shit load of segways right now
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
