I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
