I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
