"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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