addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
how do flat chested girls get laid?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
