Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
