you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
nutella sex= disaster
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
