He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
