in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
