how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
