I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
