1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i out mim tonsoeep
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