So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
