i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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