Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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