another moral hangover. fuck.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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