You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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