It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
