I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
