thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
