God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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