I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I intend to get homeless drunk
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize