God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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