party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
where are you?
Hypothermia
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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