Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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