Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
