Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Randomize
