I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
