Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
As shirtless as possible
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
