Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
