about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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