so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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