Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she smelled like a LAN party
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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