But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
