How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
