D3 body, D1 cock
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
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