dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
