watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize