so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
