I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
