So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
