sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
