this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
