i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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